Month: December 2020

2020 Gratitude: Alcohol (or a lack thereof)

image from unsplash.com

My relationship with alcohol has changed a lot in the past 10 years.

(10 years? How old am I again?)

Around the time I settled into my post-grad life, I likewise settled into a predictable drinking schedule – maybe a beer or two during the week, pre-game and go out with friends over the weekends, maybe get a little too drunk sometimes, but who cares? I’m young! I can handle it!

However, like a lot of things in my life, I’m constantly re-evaluating and trying to find a balance of what feels good and what doesn’t. And late last year into early this year, for many different reasons, getting drunk just didn’t seem to suit me anymore. While I appreciated how getting drunk made me feel more personable, friendly, and funny, it also made it too easy for me to slip back into old ways, which I had mindfully and purposely put behind me.

(Also, I’m getting older, and hangovers are getting worse! Are they even worth it anymore?)

Instead, I evaluated what I like about drinking (the taste, the camaraderie, a little buzz) and weighed it with what I didn’t like about drinking (overdrinking, especially without realizing, the price) and set strict limits with myself. I decided to be mindful about my drinking and consciously listening to my body while I drink. In a less rah-rah way, I’ve had to set limits for myself, and strictly hold myself to them.

The thing that I’m specifically grateful for is that 2020 has all but eliminated any societal pressure to drink! No concerts to pregame! No bars! No house parties! While this sucks in almost every other way, it’s been perfect for my newfound journey with alcohol and limiting my intake.

I’ve made sure that the few times that I have drank this year have been within my self-imposed guidelines. In January and February, I had a drink or two at concerts or shows, but actually wasn’t drinking that much because of my upcoming marathon. When that got cancelled, I let myself go a little too much and ended up violating my own rules and, as expected, crossed lines that I didn’t want to cross and, frankly, ruined everyone else’s fun. Though this was a tough pill to swallow, it did make me feel more secure in my decisions around controlling my drinking moving forward.

(Oddly enough, I did drink more than I expected in Japan. Highballs, in particular, were plentiful and often cheaper than getting water! However, I often get nervous when travelling, even more so in a country where I don’t know the language, and have already limited myself to not getting too drunk on vacations for fear of getting myself in a sticky situation.)

In self-isolation, I had a drink on my birthday, a few times on Zoom calls with friends, sometimes just because I felt like it! But I always made sure to stay within my limits and do only what made me feel good. Actually, a nice side effect of cutting down on drinking in general is that it’s easier to get a slight buzz with less volume – so I’d consider that a win-win!

I know that, as things become more “normal” going into the new year, that these boundaries are going to be tested even more and more. I’m using this time at home to really feel confident and secure in my decisions so that I can hold my ground in the new year – hopefully!

2020 Gratitude: January and February

Though 2020 will certainly be remembered for self-isolation and time mostly spent at home, there were two precious (in retrospect!) months this year where life continued as it had before.

I wrote about it briefly in the previous Flight Club entry, but my life before quarantine was very busy. I was going into the office, taking improv lessons, working at the improv theater, training for a marathon, and sprinkling in community service and hangouts with friends in here and there. While it is nice that quarantine has allowed me to slow down, there are definitely times when I miss the hustle and bustle of city life!

I started off the new year running a 10K through Central Park and hanging out with my friends in Central Park.

The next week, my boyfriend and I saw his favorite magician, Shin Lim, perform live. If you’ve never seen a magic show live, I recommend it, as long as you’re willing to let your guard down and suspend your disbelief for a second. (Or, if you’re like us, you can raise your awareness for the whole show and spend the rest of the night thinking, “How did he do that?”)

We also went to see my favorite band, Motion City Soundtrack, on their reunion tour. Looking back, a friend invited me into the mosh pit, and I said no at the time, but now I kind of wish I had accepted – if only because I can’t imagine being in a mosh pit now!

… and later saw Ripe at the same venue, for some more good vibes!

We also saw Cats together, which was a very strange show! That’s all I have to say about that!

After that, we saw Mean Girls, which has now risen up the ranks as one of my favorite Broadway shows. It was incredibly funny, the music was catchy, and the story deviated just enough from the iconic movie that I was still on the edge of my seat for most of the show.

We got a Broadway in Boston membership several months ago, which gave us a “season pass” to see almost all of the touring shows that were coming to town. This was our second season with the pass, and we really enjoyed all the shows that we were able to see – but were looking forward to so many more, and were obviously very disappointed when the entire rest of the season was deferred indefinitely.

I’m glad I was able to experience what I was able to back when I was able to! Sometimes when I get comfortable in quarantine, and not having to see anyone or go anywhere or do anything, I think back to the “before times” and realize that I do miss going out and doing things, as tiring and expensive as they were.

I miss going to New York for a short trip, I miss concerts and shows, and sometimes I even miss going out to bars and clubs with friends (which I didn’t include here, because I do not have pictures, but that’s probably a good thing!). Sitting at home to recharge was nice for a few weeks, sure, but I’d like my life back now, please!

2020 Gratitude: Twitch Streams

Okay, this is not a video game, but it is precious and I love it

There are a lot of things that I’ve discovered in quarantine that I never thought that I’d be into in the “before times,” whether they just seemed out of my league or because I didn’t have time for them. Watching streams on websites like Twitch was one of those things. I had a pretty limited knowledge of or interest in video games and spent my free time watching the latest Netflix show, with little wiggle room for anything else. How/why was I going to watch someone else play video games for hours on end?

However, with the copious amounts of free time that I now have in quarantine, I’ve been watching more and more streams! The transition was pretty obvious: because I had already been sucked in by YouTube earlier in the year, I started watching YouTube clips of gameplay that I realized were pulled from livestreams, then started tuning into the streams as they were happening every night.

The easy examples here are Disguised Toast and Sykkuno‘s Among Us content. I’ve found it much more fun to watch streams when either (1) I know the game or (2) the streamer’s personality makes it interesting, and these two, along with their group of friends, check both of those boxes. I’ve even started watching LilyPichu‘s content, which skews less toward games and more toward music and art, and I’ve found it to be very soothing and wholesome, especially near the end of the night as I’m winding down my day.

My boyfriend and I have taken to sometimes just putting on Sykkuno’s stream in the background while we work or play other games with friends. At first, we were drawn in by their clever gameplay, taking notes for our own games, but later enjoyed watching them simply mess around with each other and doing dumb things just to see if they would pay off.

I even started watching non-stream content, like silly competitions on OfflineTV’s YouTube account or Valkyrae’s non-gaming content, which I think feels extra relatable because we are about the same age (which I still can’t believe!).

I’ve even done a bit of research on parasocial relationships because, yeah, watching these streams makes me feel like I’m part of their friend group! Which I definitely am not! But I have come to understand and appreciate the appeal of streamers, and have welcomed their content into my life in a way that I did not expect would happen this year.