Around this time last year, my husband and I had already decided that we would start trying for a child at the end of the year (surprise! it worked!). Knowing that our friends would notice if I stopped drinking suddenly, I decided to drastically cut down my consumption instead – no more shots, maybe a drink or two while out, maybe no drinks at all.
I was relieved to have a reason to do this, because I had been hoping to cut down on drinking for a long time. This was for many reasons, many of them private*, but they can be summarized broadly as health-related. They can also summarized broadly as my own choice for my own body, ok!
Before this point, it felt really difficult for me to not drink because I didn’t want to. I was worried that people would think that I was pregnant, that people would think I was rude for refusing drinks, that people would think that I wasn’t enjoying myself, that people would think that I had changed for the worse, that people would interpret my abstaining as a judgement on their drinking habits… the list goes on. The list includes a lot of projection of my own insecurities, and includes a lot of overthinking overall. In retrospect, who cares?
All that said, quitting drinking while I was pregnant was (mostly) easy (save for a few nights in Seoul filled with fomo at pochas), and staying mostly sober while breastfeeding has been pretty easy as well (save for a crazy party or two). I am hoping that keeping my current habits will be easy after breastfeeding – with the option to let loose every once in a while, if the feeling strikes!
(* Related to parenthood – I have long resented the idea of a “wine mom,” or the idea of using alcohol as a stress reliever in the absence of any other coping mechanisms. I put a lot of effort into alternate stress relief methods, which sometimes do and sometimes don’t work – but putting the work in at all is important to be the parent that I want to be in the long term!)
Trisha Serquina 